The past few days I have been thinking about the beginning. The beginning, meaning when we signed our initial paperwork and took that leap of faith. I think many thought we were crazy, especially knowing we didn't have the funds to pay for an adoption. I've spoken about this many many times on this blog. But God tugged and He tugged hard. I knew this was where He wanted us and I knew that He would work out all of the details. Although the plan was still a little unclear, and I worried a LOT wandering how on earth we would raise almost $18,000... I tried my hardest to trust in His plan.
In the end... in just over 6 months... He provided ALL of our funds, leaving us to pay around $2,000 at the end. God IS Good! He is faithful and He does provide. In the beginning, I remember praying so hard for God to use our story to touch others. I prayed that He would be uplifted and glorified throughout our journey and even after placement. I believe He was. Unfortunately though, I feel as though I have fallen off the wagon since bringing Katherine Grace home. I became less passionate, annoyed with emails, discouraged with my blog and truthfully... unmotivated! This was not what I ever imagined.
Thankfully.... God has sent some beautiful encouragement and reminders my way these past few weeks. He has reminded me that He is far from finished with our story and continues to use it daily! I received a phone call from a friend the other day. She has spoken with me a few times already, but recently decided to move forward with their adoption journey! I was in tears listening to her and hearing her fears, excitement and just her story. It reminded me once again on why I created this blog. In many ways it was my outlet and my way to express my emotions during our waiting, as well as document the many phases of our adoption journey. But in the end it became so much more to me. It became a place where I wore my heart on my sleeves, I shared real emotions... raw ones. Ones that were hard to put into words.. but they were REAL and that was what I wanted so desperately to convey. I wanted to share the ups and downs of this scary, yet so rewarding journey. I wanted people to understand the reality of adoption and how God loves and cares of the orphans.
I am so passionate about orphans and even more about adoption. I truly believe this was where God has led our family and praise Him for laying it so heavily on our hearts! I thank Him for USING me... of all people, little ole, crazy emotional, ME! I feel incredibly honored to be where I am.
So... with all of that being said... if you feel God tugging at your heart and you're scared in any way... please trust Him! Allow Him to use you in ways you could never dream possible. Allow Him to write your story for you and take you down the path He wants you to be on. I promise... His is WAY BETTER THAN YOUR OWN!
Until then... Brantley