Monday, August 23, 2010

Urge to Nest!

Oh my!  Where do I even begin to express my feelings at this very moment?!  I am struggling, really bad!  Pregnant women, moms, anyone- care to explain how all of this works????  I feel the need to shop every moment for my baby!  I wake up and immediately want to run into the (not quite put together nor completed) nursery.  Then, open up the closest doors and look at the few things we have for him/her!  I plop on the guest bed that is currently in the room and just sit there.  I love thinking and talking about what things will be life with a baby in our lives.  Sometimes I just go online and "browse" Etsy or any other amazingly, fabulous baby shop I can find!  Seriously, I wander if I'm alone in this! 

I was talking to my friend Holly, who fortunately for me, has become my adopting buddy!  She too, is adopting a baby through Bethany.  We seem to have so many things in common and she is one of the few who really understands my thoughts, fears and emotions!  We were talking the other night about this very same topic... buying stuff for our babies!  For most women, you have many things to look forward to throughout your pregnancy.  Such as; positive pregnancy tests, ultra sounds, baby showers, finding out the sex of your baby, more showers, shopping for the baby you KNOW you're having, planning for the arrival, etc!  Well, in most cases, we have a lot in common.  However, the things we don't know are killing me!  Now... don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade where I am right now for anything!  I am so blessed to be down this journey and starting our family through adoption.  However, I also have my share of struggles as this is all so new to us!

The UNKNOWN!

1) Date of our babies arrival?
2) The sex of our baby?

Well, these are the parts that are quickly eating at me.  I want to plan, I want to be able to take off work when the baby comes and spend time with him/her.  I want to buy sweet little outfits for them and not feel like I'm buying for both genders, or all gender neutral!  :(  For a while, these things didn't bother me.  But, as time goes on, they are.  I know there are many other things we have to look forward to and plan for.  In fact, we're thinking about more important things like childcare when we're working, parenting our precious baby, and learning all sorts of things we'll need to know!  But again, I'm still struggling with how do you do deal with the unknowns?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!  :) 

Until then, Brantley

4 comments:

Rebekah said...

I am in the same boat! We're adopting too and I REALLY want to nest, but my husband is making me wait! It is so difficult!

Leigh said...

Okay you want honest advice? Take a deep breath and remember why you are doing this, soon enough you will know who your sweet baby is and you will be able to shop your heart out! It is totally worth not being able to nest now! What I have come to realize is that I cannot compare this journey to having a biological baby, it's different and I am so thankful I made the choice to start my family this way, I know you feel that way too! Comparing the two usually just wind up with me throwing a pity party and God did not call me to this to throw that kinda party for myself!!!
Now to how to curve that nesting urge: I have little tabs on my laptop, one that has our girl names on it and one that has our boy names on it, I save things to the tabs and then every few months I delete it all and start over. I save hundreds of things to them and think about getting to maybe buy them one day! And I love doing little projects for them, have you started a scrap book yet? That might be something fun and you can do pages about the different things you have done or you could get your friends and family to write letters to the baby and put them all in book for him/her!
Be glad you can at least create a nursery and buy somethings like toys and gender neutral outfits for your baby, there are a lot of families out there that can't even do that because they don't know anything at all. :) And just like everything else in this process it gets easier with time, I'm sure you are sick of me saying it but it's true. AND remember every single day is one day closer to your baby!!!!! That always helps me get through the days!

Brantley and Richard said...

Leigh, thank you for your honesty! I really need to hear NO from time to time! haha Richard and I have been talking about this a lot lately, and how he's not sure how to help me cope. From here on out... we will NOT buy anything else until after placement! ahhh What on earth am I committing too?! We will still be finishing the painting of furniture, and creating the baby bedding... but not buying anything else for now! Hope me to it ladies!

Katie said...

Brantly,
We just got home last week, with our adopted son. I know exactly how you are feeling, and the urge to want to buy stuff for your baby. This is how we approached the wait: Once we were officially waiting to be matched, we went ahead and got a cradle, cradle bedding, and 2 or 3 gender neutral sleepers. I also got bottles/formula, and started to stock-pile diapers. All of those things you will need, no matter when the baby is born, or if it is a boy or girl. Once we were matched, my sisters brought over boxes of boy clothes that my nephews wore. There was always that constant fear that the birth mother would change her mind, so we didn't buy anything except a few boy outfits. We still don't have a nursery! I just ordered the furniture last night. Babies don't need much, so as long as you have their needs met, they are happy. I know how hard it is to not buy stuff. But trust me, it is so much more fun to buy, once you have that little one in your arms. My first shower is this weekend and I am so excited! I hope your wait is a short one, and that God blesses you with a baby quickly.