This morning has been very hard for me. To be perfectly honest, I have NO clue why. I have just been an emotional wreck the past couple of days and today was the breaking point for me. I cried the entire morning and on the way to work. I'm doing a little better now, but still emotional. I'm not asking for sympathy, just being honest with each of you. The reality of having a baby is really exciting to me right now and for some reason, I feel so incredibly homesick. I'm so ready to meet our precious child! We've been photographing a LOT of babies lately and it makes me think of how wonderful the day will be when we can finally hold ours in our arms and call them by name!
I appreciate the encouragement in yesterday's post from some of you who left comments. I have made a promise that I won't be shopping for our baby anymore for now. I'm okay with that, really I am. I'm just having a hard couple of days. I've been praying so much for our sweet baby, our birth mom and lately our social worker. I think the reality of getting assigned our social worker any day now is making me anxious! I'm praying that our personalities will mesh well with one another. I won't lie, I can be a tough cookie work alongside! ;)
Anyway, sorry for such a depressing post. I just needed to get that off my chest. I am so anxious for Friday to get here. Not only is that our Training Day with Bethany, but it is the start to a long and relaxing vacation! Much needed one might I add! :)
Until then, Brantley
2 comments:
Please know that I was not trying to say I think it bad that you shop for your baby, I don't at all!I just know it's hard to buy things when you have no idea if you are going to a have a boy or a girl, you don't know the season, ect.
And i know the homesick feeling all to well. Homesick really is the best way to describe it, it's just this crazy ache inside of you. Even though it hurts so badly to miss your child I always think that it's a good thing that I love and ache for these babies this much.
On of my favorite verses to pray for my babies and for their Ethiopian family is Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord Your God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
I am with you! The last week has been hard for me too. In my head I know that God is sovereign and the waiting time is shaping us to be better parents, and God is working out every detail for our family- but sometimes my heart just wants this baby NOW!
Praying for you (because I know the husbands don't really "get" this hole in our hearts for our baby).
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