Wednesday, April 27, 2011

the Blog

Lately I have been thinking... a LOT!  You see, I haven't been slacking on the blog, instead I've been avoiding it.  I love this blog, and this blog has brought about a lot of encouragement for myself, but also to our readers.  Our adoption stirred some hearts and we received many emails from some readers who has pushed away at the thought of starting their own journey... but after reading ours... decided to follow the path God was pulling them down.  We've received countless emails of awesome praises and encouragement.  And THIS encourages me.  However, we've also received a lot of emails lately with discouraging words and inappropriate questions.  Although we're VERY open about our adoption, and especially our journey, there are quite a few things that we believe should be left to our daughter.  After all.... this is about her... this journey is hers, and her story is hers to have to tell when she is ready to.

I understand that the lack of knowledge and even the understanding of adoption is misconstrued.  Its sad, but so many think they understand adoption - but they don't.  My opinion and belief on the matter is that unless you've walked this same path - you don't understand.  My wish however, with this blog, has been to encourage and to educate those.  Unfortunately, I feel as though I'm failing.  

The emails we've received have asked a lot of personal questions.  Questions about her birthmother, personal situations within the adoption (which some we share, others are NOT relevant), as well as questions on race.  Although we're not ashamed about any of the above, we do NOT feel as though any of that is relevant.  We're very passionate, and hope to adopt again in the future.  Our hopes are also to continue spreading the word about God's love for the orphans, and our own personal calling.  We also want to continue to educate people on adoption.  Teach them what is hurtful to most, what is inappropriate, and what the process is like (at least for domestic adoption).  Right now though, I am taking a break from the emails.  I am not upset, because I knew going into this that questions who arise & rude comments would be made (and will continue to be made).  Now I am simply at a place where I am trying to figure things out and what direction I want to take the blog.

Sorry for the lack of updates... we will hopefully get caught up on some pics from this last month soon!  

Until then... Brantley

11 comments:

The Mulder Family said...

Brantley...I am right along there with you. Being an adoptive mom recently myself I want to encourage other but sometimes some people make it really hard. Praying that your journey will continue to be an inspiration to others...you are doing the right thing!!

Leigh said...

It's a hard hard balance. Doing what is best for Katherine Grace is the most important thing, you are doing a great job at that. Offending people who shouldn't be offended isn't your problem girl :) Keep doing what is best for that precious little girl! And you are 100% correct, unless you have walked this road you just don't get it.

Simply Amy said...

Brantley, I am sorry to hear that people have been rude to you. I thank you for sharing as much as you do. I have learned a lot through your process of adopting your precious gift from God. Love you and praying for you!

Tony and Kelly said...

Brantley you are exactly right! We are still waiting for "the call" and people have been asking the craziest questions! Why have a baby shower? Why take maternity leave? really....
I love your blog and keep those photos of that baby coming!

Marcie said...

Brantley I am not going to try and even pretend that I know what all your going through. I think that unless you have been through it, it's unfair to say what you would do or how you would act! I will say that I dont understand why people cant just be supportive these days! I am completely taken back by the way some people react to adoption! You have to do whats best for that little girl now but I want you to know that I love reading your blog! It gives me such hope on my bad days! And Katherine Grace is beautiful!!

amelia said...

I'm so sorry about your situation. We were asked questions..personal questions and comments about our fertility. My husband was asked whether our son is his son.

Our family is really multiracial. My husband is Caucasian, I'm Asian, we have 2 biological girls, and we adopted our son who is African-American. No wonder people are curious.

We're keeping our son's story about his birth family for him alone, because it's his story. We don't even share it with our parents, and nobody, not even our parents has seen his birth family except us. You just have to do what is right for your child.

Love reading your blog and looking those photos of your beautiful daughter.

Elizabeth Marshall said...

I hate that you are experience rudeness but I have enjoyed reading your blog. I am in the process of adoption and have been lucky for it to be received with support. I thank you for putting your journey on the blog. I have loved watching Katherine Grace grow through your pictures. She is a beautiful and smiley little girl. Stay strong and remember that other people's opinions do not matter.

Candabaldwin said...

I love reading your blog. You write well and I hope you will continue writing. Your daughter is beautiful and her photos are so artistic. We are currently "coming to terms" with our situation and I hope to have a story like yours one day.

D said...

I am so sorry that you have been getting unpleasant emails. You and your husband are so adorable -- as is your gorgeous baby girl! Your faith is encouraging, and I hope you continue on your amazing journey without the discouragement of others. You three are an inspiration. Dawn in NC

Wanda said...

I have watched you and Richard become wonderful parents to this precious gift from God. Your Dad and I are so pleased to have her as a grandchild. We love you very much....Mom and Dad

STEFFIEJ said...

AH, BRANTLEY I HATE TO HEAR THAT PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY ASKED YOU SUCH PERSONAL QUESTIONS..I'M GLAD YOU ADDRESSED ALL THIS THOUGH..WE (THREE OF US THAT WORK TOGETHER) HAVE ENJOYED LOOKING AT YOUR PICS OF KATHERINE GRACE AND WERE EXCITED TO SEE EASTER PICS..AND NOTICED THAT YOU HAD NOT POSTED IN A WHILE SO WE HAD A FEELING SOMETHING WAS UP...YOU DEFINTELY DON'T OWE IT TO ANYONE TO DISCUSS YOUR CHILD'S RACE..I'M AMAZED THAT PEOPLE FIND IT THEIR BUSINESS TO EVEN MENTION THAT KIND OF QUESTION..WHEN PEOPLE SHOULD JUST BE HAPPY THAT A CHILD WAS GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE LOVED AND RAISED BY TWO CARING PEOPLE THAT HAVE ALL THIS LOVE TO GIVE HER...BUT, THEN AGAIN.. WE DO LIVE IN A CRAZY WORLD THESE DAYS WHERE PEOPLE MAKE IT THEIR BUSINESS TO ALWAYS BE IN YOURS AND HAVE AN OPINION (AS WELL AS VOICE IT) AS TO WHAT THEY THINK YOU ARE DOING RIGHT OR WRONG...I HOPE YOU DON'T LET THIS KEEP YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR LOVE FOR THE LORD AND YOUR CHILD WITH THE REST OF US THAT ACTUALLY DO ENJOY YOUR BLOG WITHOUT CRITICISM...ANYWAY..THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY WITH US...DON'T LET THIS KEEP YOU DOWN....STEPHANIE