Its a day by day thing... our journey that is. My emotions are running wild and one day I'm on a high feeling great, the next day I'm an emotional wreck. Today... is definitely the day of emotions that are running wild! I'm scared yet excited, afraid yet confident, sad yet happy! It seems impossible to express what I'm feeling at this very second. I want so badly to have our baby in our arms, and would LOVE to have our baby home in time for Christmas! While at the same time, I want so badly to treasure these moments of waiting, because He has given us these precious days... and He wants us to use them wisely!
I know without a doubt in my mind, that our baby is out there. One day, hopefully soon, He will introduce us. Its hard, this adoption is much harder emotionally and mentally than I ever prepared myself for. I knew it would be hard, and truthfully, it could be WAY harder (as it is for some), but I don't believe you can ever fully prepare yourself for what we experience. I KNOW that we are in His will and that is what I hold onto. I cling to that, I cling to His word, and I pray for strength and guidance throughout this journey. This baby has been prayed for by so many, and I look forward to the day when we can share with our baby all of the wonderful stories & experiences from this time of waiting.
For now, we strive to live each day to its fullest! We pray for our baby, and the mother God gave you to first! For those considering adoption, or on your journey at this time, don't be afraid by the words I say here. Each day is a lesson, a lesson that I am so grateful for. God is teaching Richard and I so much through this, teaching us more about one another, and is molding & preparing us to be parents to this baby. If you feel led to grow your family through adoption, allow God to write your story, and lead the way! As cheesy at that sounds... its so true. Its a daily battle to full surrender and trust... but its all I have and I do trust that He is in control.
Until then... Brantley