I have been troubled these last several months, confused and torn. So much of me has this desire and passion to do more! More is a small word, yet something that has eaten at me for so long. Every day I see faces on the screen, a new face on a blog and hear words being described on paper from many. They break me [daily] and encourage me to do more. I have struggled to find what it is that more is. Many things have happened over the last few weeks - AWESOME things. Things I will wait to share with you, because we are still praying over them. I have a bad habit (because I am a "do-er" and because I am so motivated and ready to jump when said to jump) that I just go ahead and commit to things without first praying about them. Very bad habit. Just because things are good, doesn't mean I am supposed to be the one doing them. Some may disagree with me on that - but I firmly believe it.
I my moments of being down and in a dark place these last few months - God has began to reveal many things to me. While there, while struggling to understand the whys, the NOs even... I became bitter and upset. I became distant and alone. But since seeking to find my way out of this pit, this time of loneliness and confusion - God has began to grow me. I believe He puts us in the valley to do just that. Through scripture, I have been encouraged more.
Here is some of what I've learned.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will NEVER leave you, nor forsake you.
This passage has taught me to stand tall, to trust Him more - that He is with us even in those down times. He has already gone before me and He is with me, even when I feel all alone. One thing I have also learned, not just from this scripture - but from life - is that people are people. They WILL let you down and they will hurt you. God will NEVER leave me, nor "let me down". He is there today, tomorrow and for eternity. I must learn to put my trust in Him [always] and not people.
I tend to quickly show love towards others, pour my whole heart into the relationship and then get devastated when the friendship ends, something happens and/or they let me down. Unfortunately, my entire life as consisted of this. I am beginning to learn that I cannot always place my trust in people.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart that I have overcome the world."
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
AMEN! We have life guys! We have been struck down... but NOT destroyed. This is a crazy world we live in, and one that many days has me down and sad to live in it. But when I live by the scripture and I hear His word... I am reminded that we must press on! We were not born into easy lives, although some days it may seem that way with all America offers us. I feel far too often the lavish things we have here are only distractions from God! Distractions from a relationship - a deep relationship with Him, our Savior! I praise Him for the hard days, I praise Him for the reminders. I praise Him because He is worthy of praise! I cannot wait to see what God is going to continue to show me.
Until then... Brantley